A Life Before Shrek
by running out of ink
Summary: Take a peek at the lives of Shrek, Donkey, Princess Fiona, and many more BEFORE they starred in the epic motion pictures!Chapters 1 and 2 revised as of 17 September 2007.
1. Donkey: A Life Before Shrek

Disclaimer: All characters are copyright of the people who made Shrek. Dreamworks, I think?

Revised as of 16 September 2007.

**Donkey: A Life before Shrek**

**By Running Out of Ink**

* * *

"It's a boy!" cried the doctor as he handed the newborn donkey over to his parents, Obadiah and Marge Donkey. Marge looked down at her little baby boy.

"He has his father's eyes-," Marge said.

"Where am I? Put me down this instant! Hey, anyone know where I can get some parfait?" shouted the baby donkey.

"-And his father's BIG mouth," Marge added. Obadiah and Marge were filing for a divorce.

That night, after the baby donkey had been put to sleep, an old lady snuck through the window to his room and snatched it from his crib. Unfortunately for her, she didn't know what she was in for. Here she had thought she would get a donkey to use for work, instead she awoke the next morning to the sound of yelling.

"Where is my mom? I want my mommy!" screamed the donkey, scanning the room for his parents. Where his toys should have been, there was a rocking chair. Where his mother should have been, there was an old woman. Where his parfait should have been there was- "Cake! Give me cake! I'll scream more if you don't give me cake!"

Thus began Donkey's life. For two years he lived alone with the old lady, until one day a visitor came to see them. You see, the old lady was trying to sell donkey, but no one had the money to buy a donkey, let alone a _talking_ one. Times were rough then. Lord Farquaad had increased taxes on everything from magic beans to fairy dust. Food became hard to come by and one day a notice went up. It simply said:

"Wanted: All Fairytale creatures. Reward."

That caught the old lady's eye. She could sure do with some extra money and Donkey had been increasingly annoying over the past month or so. So, one day she told Donkey they were going on a trip. She took him to the nearest "station" to get her reward and… well… you know the rest of the story.


	2. Shrek: A Life Before Donkey

**A Life ****Before**** Shrek**

**Chapter Two: ****A Life ****Before**** Donkey**

**By Running Out of Ink**

* * *

It was another sunny day in the swamp and Shrek loved it. He would run around and jump in mud puddles all day long and when he was bored he would walk down the road and visit the Witch. She had the coolest house! It was made of candy! She would always have cookies made for Shrek and his siblings to eat. They always enjoyed this treat since Shrek's mother was very poor. She had seven mouths to feed: Moby, Klaus, Chimeriquay, Measel, Breese, Milton and, of course, Shrek.

One day she sat Shrek down and had a short talk with him.

"Shrek," She began, "I believe it is time for you to seek your fortune. I don't have enough money to support everyone and since you are the oldest it is you who must leave first."

"Why?" Shrek asked, staring blankly at his mother.

"I already told you, you're the oldest," She said, handing him a sack of food and spare clothes. She bid him farewell, and Shrek walked out the door, determined to find his fortune.

He passed by all the spots which had been familiar to him as a young ogre. He walked by the Witch's house and smiled as he saw her chasing around a small Gingerbread Man. The Gingerbread Man stopped running for a moment and taunted her. "Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the- OOF!"

The witch, who had taken advantage of the moment and snuck up on the Gingerbread Man, cackled. Shrek waved at them, and they both stopped to wave back.

"Where are you going Shrek?" The Witch called.

"I'm going to seek my fortune!" He exclaimed.

"Oh, good luck," she replied and the proceeded to punish the Gingerbread Man.

Shrek continued on his way. He walked for days, stopping occasionally to eat or sleep. Until one day he stumbled upon a swamp. It looked cozy enough. It was surrounded by grass and there was an onion patch to the side. And there was a particularly nice looking boulder nearby. He decided that this was as good a place to live as any and he set up house.

Shrek lived there for a few months before the Ogre-hunting parties started. At first they were terrifying, he didn't know what to do. These people didn't know him at all, yet they wanted to prod him with pitchforks and light him with torches. When the ogre-hunting parties started growing more frequent Shrek started making signs to ward people off. He was in the act of putting up a fresh batch of posters when a small talking donkey ran into him.


	3. Princess Fiona: A Life Before Shrek

Disclaimer: As stated in the last sentence of this, the characters are copyright to the creators of Shrek and so on and so on so I won't go into all of those.  
  
Princess Fiona: A Life Before Shrek  
  
Princess Fiona stared out her window into the boiling pit of lava below. Bubble bubble. That's all the lava ever did. Someone cleared their throat behind her. Fiona turned back to see her guardian dragon behind her. She looked down at the cards she had been holding in her hand. Full house. Again. She was becoming far to good at this game, after all, she had been playing it almost every day for her whole life. There wasn't much to do in a run down castle like this. Fiona was thinking about sprucing the place up a bit, but for that, she would need a lot of water and soap and paint and tools and furniture and curtains and... well, you get the point. She laid down her cards.  
  
"Full house" she said in a bored way.  
  
The dragon sighed loudly and threw her cards down.  
  
"Now where is that delivery boy? It's been nearly 3 days since I ordered that pizza! When it finally does get here, I'm not paying for it!" Fiona said. This happened a lot. The Princess got up and said to the dragon, "I'm going to go watch some TV." and she did.  
  
She walked all the way down the stairs and into the TV room. There she popped in her exercise tape entitled, "Defying Gravity, A Guide to Impossible Stunts that Take Hours to Learn" This was how the Princess Fiona lived most of her life. When she wasn't playing cards, or watching videos she was looking through magazines, imagining her life when she got rescued. Fiona subscribed to about 20 magazines. Among them were, "Duloc Teen" and "Being a Princess" not to mention "Ways to Cook Human" That was the dragon's magazine of course. Almost needlessly said, the Princess Fiona led a very dull life. This is what she was thinking of one day, while sitting in her room, that eventful day that a large person came crashing through her ceiling. The day she had been waiting for had finally come! She was FINALLY getting out of here. Who cares if it meant that the dragon, who wasn't all that mean, was dead? She was finally leaving. She quickly laid on the bed, grabbed some flowers and waited for her handsome prince to come. Life didn't turn out exactly as she had planned, but that is already a copyrighted movie, so I won't go into it.  
  
~~~  
  
Authors Note: I seem to have an obsession with writing these lately. Though none of them are QUITE like the first one, I still like them. I am trying to write more seriously lately. You know, with complete sentences and all. Sorry if you don't like the new versions but there is nothing much I can do about it. Hope you liked!!! I actually have a whole series of these running through my head, so they might actually become a chapter book soon, but I don't know. I kind of like having a lot of stories. Lol. What do you think? Chapters or individual stories?? Oh and THANK YOU KIM FOR REVIEWING A LIFE BEFORE DONKEY!! and thanks to all the people who reviewed Any of my other stories. I LOVE getting reviews. 


	4. The Girl Dragon: A Life withthe Princess

Disclaimer: I don't own the dragon, Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Bolero, Moulin  
Rouge, Fellowship of the Ring or anything else mentioned in this story.  
Except the name Priscilla.  
  
The Girl Dragon: A Life with the Princess  
  
The Girl Dragon. That was how she was known. No one bothered giving her a name. She was just the Girl Dragon. In fact, that was probably how it all started. For the sake of the story, we shall name her Priscilla. Now Priscilla was a very lovely dragon. She was a purple-ish pink color with lovely sparkling white teeth. Priscilla took a lot of time on those teeth, they would most likely be the only thing anyone saw of her, so, she wanted them to at least know she had good dental hygiene. She lived alone in a beautiful white castle with towers and stairs that went up and down and all around the castle and it was a beautiful castle. Then, all of the sudden, a volcano erupted under her. And for long hours Priscilla would think of how silly she had been putting a castle on a mountain like that, but that was not what the problem was. The problem was that she now was left in charge of a bouncing baby girl. Literally bouncing because they had hooked one of those things up in the doorway. The things where the babies can sit and bounce around and not get anywhere for mischief. Fiona was her name. Biting was her game. Of course, she doesn't quite know where the baby came from.  
  
It had been a dark and relatively clear, starry night. Priscilla had been in her room listening to 'Bolero' on her Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Classical music was her favorite. In an odd twist of fate there came a loud screaming from outside her door. That was where she discovered a very ugly Ogre baby. On that Ogre baby was a note which read 'By day one way, by night another. Sincerely, The Evil Sorceress' . That was how it began. Now Priscilla had to learn how to change diapers. Sure, she had learned about it in baby- napping class, but it's one of those things you never really learn to do until you absolutely have too. So, with an extra large clothespin stuck to her nose, she changed it... then picked up the baby in her claws and rocked her to sleep to the soft sound of her 'Fellowship of the Ring' soundtrack.  
  
From then on, life with the human-by-day-Ogre-by-night baby became routine and the Girl Dragon became very found and motherly to her. They played games and had their weekly poker-nights. Sometimes Priscilla would let her stay up to watch Late Night, with Conan O'Brien. They enjoyed each others company. Then... they got into a fight. It was a horrendous affair which involved someone stealing the cookies from the cookie jar. Priscilla had been sleeping it off when there came a donkey walking into her house. HER HOUSE! It was probably another one of those real estate agents. They came around talking incessantly,  
  
"My what a lovely house you have! Such marvelous stairs. And that tower! A bit on the hot side... maybe you would like to move? I'm with Joe's Real Esta-"  
  
That was where she either ate the salesman or toasted them. The next thing she knew, the Donkey was talking to her and telling her what lovely teeth she had. She was speechless. No one ever told her that. She never gave them time. But this donkey... he was... so... wonderful. Then next thing she knew there was an Ogre coming and trapping her and... oh it was horrible. Priscilla had never felt so bad before. She had lost the Princess and what might have been her one-true-love. And that was the end of that... 


	5. Puss Before the Boots and a little after...

Puss before the Boots... and a little bit after them  
  
There walking down a lovely little gravel road was a cat. But not just any cat, this was the greatest cat of them all! Or so he told everyone. In reality, the cat walking down the road was just a normal cat with the ability to awe anyone with his great, big, green eyes. This cat's particular name (or at least what he was called) was Puss. Puss? You ask. Yes it is not a very dignified name for a cat trying to make it in the assassin world, but he'd grown accustomed to the snickers by now. A possible job interview lasted about a minute. Puss would order a bottle of hard milk and sit himself up at a bar and eventually some wealthy looking individual would come along asking whether or not he knew the assassin.  
"I am the assassin," he would reply, in a dignified manner. At which point, the wealthy looking individual would start laughing at him. "You surely are not the assassin!" he would laugh.  
  
"Oh, but I am. I am the assassin known as Puss!" the cat would exclaim trying to emphasize his ferocity and cold-bloodedness.  
  
Many stares followed after this and then the bar would laugh at the cat, laugh at the man hiring the cat and then laugh as the man left the now- fired cat to wallow in the misery of being such a cat to be called Puss. Life was not good to Puss.  
  
So here Puss was, walking down a road. And in the same place that he was at the beginning of the story too! Now, you would think he had made some progress as I rambled on about apparently hard life but he hadn't. You might be wondering why. Well, the fact of the matter was that Puss had just stopped walking. He stared in awe. Right before him was a pair of perfectly crafted and slightly small boots. They only appear small to us but they were just the right size for Puss.  
  
"Boots!" he exclaimed in a moment of shock and disbelief. After all, what was the chance of coming across perfectly cat-sized boots? He looked left. He looked right. He looked up, down, all around and there was not a person to be seen so, he slipped the boots on and started walking down the road.  
  
Several Months Later  
  
Puss... now called Puss in Boots was living the high life. It seems his boots had not only given HIM confidence... but also the people who were his clients. Puss got all the chicks. Puss got all the money. Puss even got offered endorsements for other brands of boots. The only one he ever declined was the last. Why give up the boots that had made you famous?  
  
Now he was sitting the back room of The Poison Apple, taking a long needed siesta when a knock came at the door. He sighed. The door opened and an old man with a blanket wrapped around him walked in. The king, as it happened to be. It seems he had a special job for our little Puss (in Boots). The king laid the money on the table and Puss smirked. Oh yes, for this amount of money, Puss could do any job. Even if the job was killing an ogre. 


End file.
